I’m not someone who usually pays a lot of attention to celebrity gossip (yeah, I know that’s what they all say), but I couldn’t help noticing mentions on the crappy magazines in the checkout aisles that, basically, ever celebrity ever has just been revealed to have broken up with his or her significant other.
Courteney Cox and David Arquette are separated now, apparently because he cheated on her, but I can’t help but wonder if it also had something to do with his not having worked since they stopped advertising collect call services on television.
Also recently split are Christina Aguilera and her husband, music producer Jordan Bratman.
I guess he doesn’t count as a celebrity, although he is an entertainment industry insider. Her Wikipedia entry says that they officially separated on September 11th of this year, and that she broke up with a previous boyfriend exactly nine years prior to that date. Funny, I would have thought that latter was the one day that nobody broke up, especially not in this country. So who’s she going to have naked Sundays with now? Somehow I doubt she’ll have trouble finding volunteers.
Although I haven’t heard of there being a breakup involved, Ashton Kutcher is reported to have cheated on Demi Moore, but I suspect she might have been punk’d.
The cover of Star is even saying that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’s sham marriage has become even shammier, but that’s been the subject of every other Star cover for the past several years, so I’m not so sure about that one. By the way, where did the idea come from that Cruise is gay? I haven’t heard of him sticking his tongue down other men’s throats like his fellow Scientologist John Travolta. I have to wonder if it’s based on the notion that anyone who doesn’t want to have sex with women MUST want to have sex with men, when this isn’t really true.
I’ve given some thought to the phenomenon of fly-by-night celebrity marriages, and I kind of have to wonder if they’re just singled out for this because they’re already famous. There are a lot of marriages that don’t last very long, but you’ve usually never heard of the people involved. Still, I suspect that one reason celebrity marriages don’t last is that they’re not practically planned out. If you think about it, why do so many celebrities date other celebrities? They must know other people, right? I don’t have any statistics on this, but it sometimes seems like marriages between celebrities and non-celebrities are more likely to last. I have to suspect that part of it is that everyone fantasizes about dating a celebrity, and when you get famous yourself, you have a chance to actually DO this. Unfortunately, reality rarely works out like fantasies do, and you’re eventually forced to realize that being married to the person you loved on the big screen or the stereo isn’t the Happily Ever After ending you assumed it would be back then. Also, since entertainers are basically the nobility of our modern nation, perhaps it’s a case of nobles marrying other nobles, as is typical in countries that still have titles. Sure, sometimes these marriages work out well and actual love develops, but that’s never the primary goal.