Seriously, who names their kid “Bristol”? Anyway, though, Bristol Palin has been in the news a bit as of late, so here’s some music to get you in the mood:
First of all, Keith Olbermann made Miss Bristol one of his Worst Persons in the World for appearing in an abstinence-only PSA, to which she replied that she wasn’t “absolutely faultless like he undoubtedly must be.” Hasn’t anyone told her that using that excuse makes you come off as a total ass? Didn’t Ted Haggard also say something about not being perfect? Guess what, dimbulbs? No one is saying you should be perfect, or that they’re perfect. What makes you a jerk is criticizing other people for behavior in which you yourself indulged. Come on, Bristol, you’re pretty much living proof that abstinence-only education works about as well as telling the cat not to scratch the furniture, and yet you’re still holding to it. What the hell? “It didn’t work for me, but it TOTALLY will for you! Trust me!”
Bristol has also been a subject of note because of her stint on Dancing with the Stars (or as Bill O’Reilly calls it, Dancing with Stars; leaving out the definite article shows his contempt for it), and her fellow contestant Margaret Cho says she heard from a reliable source that her mother the Ice Queen pistol whipped her into it. (I’d say “not literally,” but with that gun-happy family, who knows?)
Bristol replied to this, and I have to wonder why, if she wants people to think she isn’t under her mom’s control, she’s parroting Sarah’s language. Common sense is of those terms that’s difficult to really define, and contrary to what Sarah and Joe the Unlicensed Plumber say, I’m not sure it’s what our government needs anyway. When dealing with issues of national importance, UNcommon sense might be a better trait to have. Besides, I don’t think “pretty much everyone is broke, so let’s give more money to the few people who aren’t” can count as ANY kind of sense. I also love how Bristol apparently knows what would have happened if McCain had won the election. Hey, some of the rest of us might want to play with your What-If Machine!
I don’t know. In a way, I feel sorry for the Palin kids, and not just because they were apparently named by pointing to random words in the dictionary. They’re too busy being shills for their megalomaniacal mom to really have lives of their own. Come on, Bristol, you’re an adult! You don’t need to take crap from your parents anymore! Well, okay, maybe you do if you’re still financially dependent on them, but that doesn’t mean you need you need to take to heart every bit of garbage that spews from their mouths. Besides, you presumably made some money from Dancing with the Stars, right? Use it to get away from that ditzy dictator of a mother you have! Maybe there’s still hope for you to become an individual after all.
Wait, I thought that was the ONLY side to Sarah Palin.