Clubbing Isn’t Just for Seals

I came across this article recently, and can I just say it’s utterly ridiculous? Someone else who linked to it pointed out this part as particularly absurd (and yet totally jerky at the same time):

“We cater to the ‘authentic’ Hamptons crowd,” said Ben Grieff, an owner, “people who are actually from the Hamptons, not just people who drive out here to see a big D.J.” (Mr. Grieff clarified: “From the Hamptons” refers to people whose parents had a summer home there as a child, not to duck farmers.)

So the “authentic Hamptons crowd” consists of people who…aren’t really from the Hamptons, but just lived there in the summers. That makes sense, if you have key parts of your brain missing. Here’s another gem from the article:

Ryan Dusheiko, general manager of Riff Raff’s, a new tiki-themed club in the Flatiron district, put it simply, “It’s not what you’re wearing; it’s who you are.” (Guys confused by the upscale tiki-lounge concept are encouraged to wear “a nice sports coat, a really great flower-print shirt underneath, maybe a matching pocket square,” Mr. Dusheiko said. “We respect individuality.”)

“We respect individuality, so you should dress in a particular way.” Is there an an intelligence test for running a club? Like, if you have average intelligence or above, you shouldn’t even bother applying for such a position? Even if these places aren’t racist (and I highly suspect at least some of them are), they’re definitely classist. Apparently your money isn’t as good if it’s a larger percentage of your paycheck, or if you actually worked a job to earn it (you know, like farming ducks). Now, you could argue that it doesn’t matter, because why would someone who isn’t a snobbish asshole want to hang around with other snobbish assholes? Perhaps some people do, though. They’re probably the same ones who wanted to be friends with the popular kids in school, even though the popular kids were only slightly less evil than Voldemort. For the most part, I don’t care, but I just have to wonder how admittance based on looks is even legal. I don’t know how true the television stereotype of people lining up at a club and some bouncer deciding whether or not they should get in is at all accurate, but it kind of sounds like it. I guess there’s one thing that hasn’t changed since the Stone Age: clubs are still owned by cavemen.

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