You Know What They Say About Guys with Big Blogs

I know Donald Trump and Marco Rubio discussing penis size at a debate is old news now, but it bothered me for more reasons than just the obvious one that it was crass, and I’m going to try to put that into words. Basically, unless you’re auditioning for a porno, who cares about the size of your unit?

I guess Trump wants people to know that he’s good at sex, although I’ve heard that doesn’t necessarily relate to size. (I can’t say I have any experience in this matter.) He’s already mated and produced offspring, so even biologically speaking, who’s that for? In fact, considering how creepily he’s talked about his daughters, he probably shouldn’t do any more of that. Not that I’m advocating forced sterilization of Trump. No, I support castration. Seriously, though, it doesn’t seem to have any relevance to anything. Maybe it’s a figurative indication of how badly he intends to screw the country. I’m a straight man, and I get that we have the desire to impress women even when it can’t lead to anything. But really, what is this unspoken rule that always being prepared to have sex makes you a worthwhile person? The strange obsession with defending your manhood isn’t one I can really wrap my head (or any other part, for that matter) around. I recently heard a news story about a guy who killed a transgender woman because he tried to hit on her, but then found out she was transsexual and was disturbed by it. Because transsexuals walk around trying to trick people, I suppose. Either that, or they’re like vampires and will turn you into one if they bite you. (Actually, that would save people a lot on surgery and hormones.) Granted, this is a really extreme case, but obsession with masculinity is a major problem in society. You could, perhaps, even say it’s a dominant problem. It contributes to misogyny, transphobia, and homophobia. You could potentially argue that sex between two men is all the MORE masculine.

The ancient Greeks certainly thought so, although the practice was disturbingly tied in with pederasty. It’s not just about sex, but about power in general. Then again, power is the ultimate aphrodisiac, at least according to Henry Kissinger, so it’s kind of a vicious circle. I get the impression Trump has managed to bed conventionally attractive women pretty much the same way Kissinger did, although the statesman DOES have nicer legs than Hitler and bigger tits than Cher.

Trump is also a good example of someone who can dish it out but can’t take it, who makes personal attacks constantly but can’t let any negative comment about himself go. So is Fox News, a network that’s always putting down other networks and individuals, but if anyone says anything bad about them they’ll devote a significant block of time to whining about it. You know, if you were really strong, tough, and stoic, I’m not sure that you COULD be emasculated. I guess when someone says to “be a man” or “man up,” what they mean is to be incredibly insecure that someone else might be getting laid more often than you are.

I just read today about Ted Cruz being against dildos, presumably because he viewed them as competition.

Look, there are enough things in this world to be insecure about without penises being among them.